Who am I being when I talk about another person?
Do I think that I’m better than they are because I momentarily morph into another version of Pink Floyd’s Judge Ass Sphincter? But think of how apropos the imagery of that is for a moment. I’m suddenly speaking and thinking from a darker, soiled space that I seamlessly step into this horrendous role of Judge, Jury and Hangman. I’m catapulted into a hell of my own making. I feel suddenly filled with bile rising in my throat as this surging, seething wave of all the hatred I can muster to fling at my target. I mistakenly think that I am inflicting this barrage of enmity and rage upon my unsuspecting victim. In milliseconds, I am the threatening, wrong-headed, venomous thinking that has been projected upon me too many times to count by people who are nearest and dearest to me. Of course I'm taking creative license here - but to my empathetic, highly sensitive self - this is what it FEELS like...
So I’m this reared up on the haunches Monster projecting my judgey judgey filth upon the hapless rag doll in the corner and that poor rag doll has become so used to this daily reign of terror, that it doesn’t even flinch. Inside of my head, I’m thinking all this about the other person, thinking that I’m inflicting them with my mental whip. Unaware that it’s just damaging the Projector. It’s digging deep inroads into my own hide – damaging my sense of self.
All Hail the Englishman’s Blues (as portrayed by Pink Floyd) for showing us how spectacularly boorish we are inside the darker nooks and crannies within our little personas.
Thank Heavens for the light working angels (like Louise Hay) who so beautifully taught that healing (or Heaven) is but a thought a way. Particularly in her “How to Love Yourself” CD I listened to recently. She said to throw up a picture of a beautiful thing that means something wonderful to you.
So suddenly inside my mind, I am visualizing Heaven in the form of this beautiful arrangement of stargazer lilies that suddenly appeared in exquisite, aching gorgeousness on our altar this week.
I take this moment to praise…
I praise lilies
I praise Louise Hay
I praise beauty that takes my breath away
I praise my beautiful mind for remembering to throw up this precious creative tool of loveliness to help me climb out of the pit I had momentarily fallen into. I had actually been stuck in there far too long. Goodbye Judgey Ass-Sphincter girl! (well, I lovingly bid you adieu for now...LOL)
I praise the beauty, love, peace, grace and harmony of a truly loving thought.
I praise the powerful tool of my mental magic wand called sanity, love, joy and humor. All hail humor most of all.